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May 17, 2001 Warrior shares deepest thoughts By JEFF WRIGHT
The words were an attempt to exorcise the demons that had pushed Ramos to depression, alcoholism and attempted suicide. They were intended for his eyes only.
Ramos, 53 with a graying ponytail, closed his eyes when the students read the names of the 10 comrades who died in a jungle ambush on Feb. 19, 1968. In reciting the soldiers' names, the students "gave them life again, gave them dignity, turned them into heroes," Ramos said. "I wrote these words, but they put life into them." The story of how Ramos' private poetry became "reader's theater" at the school's fourth annual "peace symposium" is a story of deepening friendship between the former soldier from East Los Angeles and the students and staff from Eugene. It was January 1998 when Jefferson students first learned about Ramos, sending him e-mails of encouragement as he and other veterans took part in the Vietnam Challenge, a 1,200-mile bicycle ride between Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. Three months later, Ramos and another veteran, Artie Guerrero, flew into the Eugene Airport and were greeted by a welcoming swarm of students. At Jefferson, a new tradition - the peace symposium - was born. Ramos, from Whittier, Calif., said he talks to students whenever he can to impress upon them that Vietnam "is not a war but a country" and that the terrors of war leave emotional scars that last a lifetime. But he said he never considered sharing his own writings until Jefferson students cajoled him to read an excerpt aloud. The response was enthusiastic and, with Ramos' permission, Jefferson teacher Misa Joo then took his words and transformed them into 56 pages of reader's theater. In the work presented Wednesday, Jefferson drama students recounted the excitement Ramos felt as his battalion left port from San Francisco; the special status, and burden, he shouldered as a medic; and the necessity to shut down emotionally to survive among the carnage. The students gave life to how it felt when, plucked from the battlefield and returned to the States, Ramos headed for a bar where the TV showed anti-war protesters denouncing Vietnam veterans as "baby killers." And they gave animated voice to what it was like when Ramos first went to "The Wall" - the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, D.C., - and found the names of his slaughtered buddies. The last reader was Ramos himself, who tried to explain why he volunteered to fight - and admitted he still doesn't understand. "I do know that I was very young, very innocent and very, very naive," he said. "I would have to say it was because I did not know any other way. I was a soldier." Ramos then shared the stage with three other veterans - retired forester Gary Thompson of Eugene, lawyer Joel Scotti of Junction City and Jefferson Principal Paul Jorgensen. Thompson wore a three-piece suit and tie - to refute the media stereotype, he said, that Vietnam veterans are "all a bunch of drug-crazed, homeless killers." Scotti told the students he will return to Vietnam for the first time next week - as part of a group of veterans who plan to build an orphanage there. "I want to go back to the country that, as a young man, I was told to destroy," he said. "I want to go back to try to build." But for Ramos and the other veterans on stage, the sweetest moment came when several students stood up and took turns thanking them for their sacrifices - and apologizing for a country that failed to do so earlier. "I really respect you guys so much for what you did," said Nick Zieber, an 8th-grader. "My grandfather is also a veteran from the war," added Root Prompalit, an eighth-grader who grew up in Thailand. "You did your duty, it's no crime - at least to me, it isn't." Many of the students then went on stage to shake hands and share hugs with their guests. Ramos said the students give him hope for the future and have played an important role in his own transformation. "I was a wounded warrior," he said. "But now I'm a wounded healer." A SOLDIER REMEMBERS Excerpts from "A Face to the Vietnam War": On surviving war: On being a medic: On returning to the United States: On visiting the Vietnam War Memorial: On his life today: - Jose Ramos with Misa Joo
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